Oh the life of a delivery driver. You
are full of surprises. Most unpleasant.
One of my customers seemed to have
forgotten one of the social niceties by which we agree as a society.
Namely, not to answer the door in your skivvies.
After years of living in our culture
with the various Memes that blossom and spread. And after years of
hearing about and watching various documentaries alluding to what
happens when a woman comes to the entry of her domicile in her
unmentionables and greets a delivery driver.
I feel that was not incorrect in
expecting that: “Come on in Mr. Delivery Boy, and let me make a
Delivery MAN out of you! Raaaarr.” to be the rather logical next
step in the conversation. And then, somewhere in the background
sensuous saxophone music would gently be piped into the atmosphere
from sources unknown.
I was rather dreading a further
encounter, as it would violate one of the strictures by which I work.
- Don't dip into the product.
- Don't dip into the customers.
- Be polite.
Not very exciting, but they work in
structuring my day to day life and keep me gainfully employed.
Though the second observation is theoretical as I've not at all
tested the limits of what I might get away with.
One or more of those guidelines was
going to be dashed that evening, and odds were good that it would
have been the second, as over-weight and middle aged women with more
than a touch of the crazy don't seem to get my motor running.
Really, why couldn't I have been assailed by a comely 20 something in
her sauciest acquisition from the pages of Victoria's Secret?
Or more accurately, I should be
thankful that I didn't encounter a over-weight, middle aged man in a
stained and sagging pair of what one would have tighty-whities. Call
me a pessimist, but is how I would expect my luck to run. So I call
it a win. After all “Any one that you walk away from right?”
As such, I focused on studying the
hallway from which I had come as she struggled with the act of
signing the packing slip. This, I have found is my number one
defense in life: play stupid. (some might question the accuracy of
'play', but I do like to kid myself) Fortunately, nothing further
came of the experience and I am so far enjoying a streak of 4 full
days without seeing one of my customers fully clothed.
Mind, all of this is merely the second
most awkward encounter that I had with her. The first being the
aforementioned time when she decided to preach the good word and
convert me to Jesusitude.
