More Dull Tales of Driving

I've been quiet for a while. But life has fallen into a pattern largely devoid of much new and exciting B quality adventures. The last two weeks have been free from jolts of adrenaline and I wonder what sort of karmatic buggery is building. I hope it isn't worse than dealing with the insurance company. Actually, so far that hasn't been too terrible, aside from me feeling out of my element with this new and bizarre experience. Insurance company did I say? Yes indeed. The last two weeks have been slow. The week prior was quite full and lively. I shall begin. I'm still a delivery driver and I work second shift. By in large I like second shift. I enjoy the fact that I have the morning and afternoon to devote to my interests then I goto work and when I get home I goto bed. I am able to get my daily walk(about 4 or 5 miles, it takes a little over an hour) and after that I can spend time weaving chain working on this story or that novel. That of course is only when my discipline slips and I don't get stuck in a loop of checking websites on the net. There are some days where I circle through facebook, gmail, and then to my sales page at amazon(that rarely changes). Over and over. In fact, I expect that I'll run the circuit at least once or twice as I write this. It's a sad existence. See how that works? I was telling a story and got distracted. Happens every day. Anyhow, I still drive evenings and nights, about 250 miles a day, which gets me back in town around 11pm. Worse since It is construction season in my current home state. But we've had a mild winter with clear roads. So, in that much I have been largely fortunate. I am in effect getting paid to listen to audiobooks(The Wheel of Time has taken around six months at my slowish pace but I take breaks from the listening). I've had several rather unpleasant blips during my tenure as a driver. My new worst happened a few weeks back after my deliveries had been made and on the return trip. Full dark had come. I don't mind driving in full dark, as much as I enjoy seeing the scenery, as I get to pretend that I'm in some exotic place. Easy enough to do when the trees create a tunnel of blackness through which you only see the highway. What you might see is further eroded by that steady stream of traffic flowing at you with headlights glaring. I have perhaps a seventy-five foot bubble of clear vision ahead of me. And in this I fly through every night at 70mph. What was that Kenny G? I have been on the Highway through the Danger Zone. It's the Detroit to Saginaw(including Flint) corridor on 75. Headlights come right at you, which is tiring. Even the 4 foot tall concrete wall that separates the two opposing lanes of traffic does little to the strain. I sit surrounded by light but unable to see. What dickery. I had just come out of a construction zone, and up ahead of me a semi-swerved to the right onto the shoulder of the road. Well, this happens. Sometimes drivers get distracted and drift. Sometimes they just decide to pull over for a rest or due to mechanical problems. I noticed the strange occurrence but thought little of it. Until I got to that point myself and found that the driver had changed course to avoid that box-spring that was lying flush in the middle of the lane. Now I don't know why it was there, but I've imagined the scenario and most involve an idiot, twine and highway speeds. The semi driver had pulled right. I opted for the center lane instead. I slowed slightly and swerved out of the way. Really, the crappy aveo I often drive is quite nimble and it got me over no problem. Cool. Wait. Twenty feet further on another shape appeared. The mattress. Well that makes sense. Who would carry a box-spring without the mattress after all? More breaks! More swerving! Highway Slalom! Back into the outside lane! The Aveo did not like this. I don't know if it was the swerving or my application of the breaks, but the car decided that it wasn't done with the dance. Maybe it felt the need to spin about in a piroutte in celebration of such a grand feat of agility. Who knows, I turned the wheel against the spinout. In the next heartbeat the aveo tried to throw itself into that aforementioned wall. I fought that. Maybe I over compensated. The aveo decided to try to make a break and leap over the edge of the highway. I've decided that the car is EMO and wants to kill itself. My thoughts were: “Eat a bowl of fuck, I am going to crash! This is really going to suck!” Followed by “I really don't want to crash, I shall keep fighting until I do.” I did not crash. Nor did I shit myself. In no particular order of importance I'm proud of these accomplishments. Before you ask, I didn't pull over and drag the set off the road my own self. I was several miles further on before that course of action even occurred to me. I'm slow to react and some things take a long time to percolate as I worry them over. Just how my brain works(or doesn't). Looking back, I did notice a car and a couple people on the road-side. Maybe they were the bastards who inadvertently laid this trap. Event two. Less than one week later. Tucker and Dale vrs my HHR. The HHR is the new car that the company purchased to replace one of the older aveos(we had 2). By new, I mean it was a 2008 model with 55,000 miles. But newer than the 2006 aveo with 140,000 miles. I add around 1250 – 1500 miles a week. One of our salesmen also uses the company cars. I don't know how much he drives. Have you seen Tucker and Dale vrs Evil? If not, you should. Rent it, buy it, watch it on netflix. What-ever. The move is a delight. But I mention this because I got to meet the title characters, or their real-world avatars. It was not as awesome an experience as I would have expected. Sure, they were nice enough all things considered. But more jaded and not as lovable. Neither of them liked visiting the city, that was apparent by their tone and words. They were country boys through and through. I was making a local run in town driving along one of our main thoroughfares. This day, I was driving our newish HHR. I rather like the HHR, especially when compared to the Aveo. It's spacious, is easy on gas and rather comfortable to ride in. The extra added bonus is that it doesn't get thrown around in high winds like the Aveo. Driving an Aveo in storms is like riding a bucking bronco. The traffic was moderately heavy, being mid-afternoon and I was following along with the flow. The car in front of me slowed. So I slowed. Tucker and Dale did not. I heard a screech of tires behind me. I looked into the sideview to see where it was coming from when I was surprised by a loud crash and my vehicle being launched forward rather violently. I can recall hitting the seatbelt. Kids wear your seatbelt – I can't stress this enough, as every night I visit facilities which deal with auto-accident and head-injury patients. I've said it before and will repeat it, new drivers need to take a tour to these places as a part of their training. I pulled over. Tucker and Dale did too. They were driving an aged jeep with a heavy steel push bar on the front end. The bar had heavy black rings to attach chains or cables. Here is a practical demonstration why maces and hammers are more effective than words against plate armor. All of that force and power directed onto a single point. The vehicle needs some several thousand dollars in repairs, starting with a new hatch door. The car has since developed issues with starting up. I was standing on the side of the road and I must say that being in an accident is a new experience for me. I called my co-worker for advice. Dale was a bit upset and wanted to know if we'd have to contact the insurance company. Yes, we would. Judging by the huge dent in the back of the car. Dale was trying to access his insurance info with his blackberry. I made two points, get Dale's insurance info, and copy down the license plate number. Tucker in the mean time was going on a rant. I didn't catch much of it as the noises of traffic was too loud. What I did catch was “Not that I was talking about you!” I hope they got out of town without any more incidents, because this all happened on one of the college campuses in town. I'm pretty sure that Tucker was complaining some about college kids. Watch the movie. I drove the HHR to finish the run I had begun. Cause the meds must go through. Rain, sleet, tornadoes or hillbillies. Not only that, but I took it with me on the nightly run across state. Not bad engineering Chevy. The starting issues actually began the next day. Yay! New car is already borked! So, part two. I got to visit the police station and file an accident report. This was how I spent part of the following Saturday morning, filling out the report in four part harmony. Down to drawing a picture of the scene of the accident. At last, I get to put my art degree to good use. Not really, it was a crappy picture, but I wanted to get out of there and get on with my weekend. Finally I got to call the insurance company. Rather, I got to find the insurance company's phone number online, as that was not listed on my proof of insurance. I got through and the local monkey gave me a phone-number for an agent with Hartford. They were just a shell company it seemed. Great. Well, I called the agent, and got it all worked out sort of. She would send an adjuster soon. Soon of course is relative, it took a week for her to call back, and more than that to get the adjuster. This job is going to kill me. Worse, the weather has really take a turn towards the summer's heat. So. I am unhappy with my situation and I don't see how to improve it. I have no momentum and need to find something to get my boulderesque rolling again. I can think of a few reasons but still I hesitate as I ponder and dither. And now I bitch about my own stupid self. Really, I stand in a box of my own making, a wet cardboard box that I could easily punch through and step out of. But before I jump I want to see where I might land. Lately I've been looking at the Pacific North West as a place to jump. I have an urge to go. But these could all be a fantasies set up in my own head. Next time, I'll tell you about my heroic battle with shin splints.