Attled by the Sea, day two Electric Boogaloo

The next morning I found myself at a local cafe that papered its walls with pages from Tolstoy's Anna Karenina. I don't know why, on either account, there it was and there I was. The biscuits and gravy jumped out at me, because A) Biscuits and Gravy and B) The whole soaking in the local culture thing that you're supposed to do whilst traveling. But really, Biscuits and Gravy.

I noticed one thing about the Seattle food scene, they seem to have adopted Biscuits and Gravy as their signature dish. Out of all things, biscuits and gravy. They have a local chain called Biscuit Bitch(which is where we broke fast the next morning). I love you Seattle. You are the Rosario Dawson if cities, too cool for me, but I shall ever be your admirer from afar. All this talk of food is making me hungry. Need to score me some B&G.

Peering to the south out of our hotel window, I noticed that half a score of cranes brushed the sky in downtown Seattle. The city was was booming and expanding. That much was obvious even to a pleb such as myself. I love walking among the tall buildings. I wanted to see the heart of Seattle up close.

Our second full day was going to be devoted entirely to wandering around downtown and engaging in standard issue touristy activities. We picked up brochures and everything!

First stop on the list was the Pike Place Market. Being a Neo-Hipster, and I don't know what that means but it sounds like a cool title, I really didn't have any interest in Pike Place Market. Being a moron, I discovered that I was wrong, it is a reoccurring life lesson.

Pike Place Market is cool. There is a reason why tourist hot spots are tourist hot spots. That is because they are fucking worth seeing. The Market is just that. Originally created as a farmer's market in 1906, a place where locals could purchase fish and vegetables and the like. And it has retained this mission, adding bakeries and restaurants to the mix(or maybe they were always there).

To my eyes Pike Place seems to be a sampler plate of the city at large. A bustling zone of enterprise on the seaside. One that is infested with tourists and surrounded by the homeless. Both parties seemed to largely ignore one another's presence.

Wandering through the bustle was enjoyable. Really, who can turn down a place that tiles the bathroom with XY and (I assume) XX to differentiate between the accepted patrons? And the stores? Knick-knacks, goo-gaws and doo-dads abounded in many of the stores, as they tried to separate tourists from their money with a wide variety of souvenirables. Me? I bought a couple-three post cards as I browsed the stores and held onto my wallet. Which was tough going when I hit up the game store, and more so when I came across the used book store. Fuck yes there was a used book store. Fuck yes I went.

The book dealer hipped us to our next stop, the Seattle Art Musuem. They were having a free day. My cheap ass is all for free whilst visiting an expensive city. We sallied forth further on up the hill. Stopping at the Russian bakery to get a sort of cinnamon roll concoction. A. Hah. SEVERAL. It is absolutely amazing that I managed not to gain several pounds while on this trip. But then, spending all day walking up hill in the rain, does appear to burn calories.

The Seattle Art Museum was enjoyable. I don't wish to sound contrite by saying that. Or patronizing. I've been to the Art Institute of Detroit, and it is a far more impressive collection that was amassed in a bygone day. Not to mention the Art Institute of Chicago, a world class museum. After these grand old academies, Seattle's offering seems a mite provincial.

But Detroit is sliding into it's dotage, so perhaps Emerald City, with it's wealth, will one day surpass the Motor City, as the former approaches it's own zenith.

No. I walked through Seattle's art museum and enjoyed every step.

Lunch took us to the in house brewery at Pike's Place. Who doesn't want to cap the morning with a burger and a beer? Well for me cider. The burger was satisfying. Nothing amazing. But good. The cider on the other hand was fantastic. Wish I remembered what it was.

And I had the only real aside interaction with a human being in Seattle. Let me explain the thought. We interacted with people, servers and staff and what-not, but only on a direct business basis. What do you want, I want that, here it is. And so forth ad infinitum. But nobody else really went beyond that point.  Except our server at The Pike Brewing Company.  He commented on my awesome Bubble Bobble T-shirt.  I agreed it was awesome.  Human connection made.

Generally I'm fine with the lack of being noticed. As reclusive introvert, I try to avoid interaction with strangers. On a few occasions I even made small talk myself. Like offering game suggestions to a pretty blonde(why is it always blonds?  I prefer redheads) in the Market, and asking a group of gentlemen if their hats signified an adherence to Jayne(they did not, they were from pumpkinfest).  But I did find myself trying.  

Seattle seems kind of cold like that I've noticed.  And also, have been informed.  Something called the Seattle Cool, where people just don't want to be bothered by strangers.  I hear that they resent all the new folks for moving in and driving up costs.  For being such a liberal city, they sure do sound like a bunch of stodgy old conservatives.

Afterwards we wandered on along and came to a fine chainsaw carving of sasquatch. Yes, I did pair “fine” with “Chainsaw carving of sasquatch”. Yes, I do own and un-ironically wear a tuxedo t-shirt.

Sasquatch abetted me with both my finest and final round in my game of Hey Adam, go stand next to That! On the downside, he refused to play afterward, but on the up, I got photographic evidence of Adam clocking sasquatch's package. Boo-yah!

After lunch our little group split up. Adam joined me for a walk through the sculpture park. Which, I didn't realize that we reached until we were at the end, and I asked where it was. Adam, being somewhat more on top of things, and holding the GPS, informed me that it was behind us. I had been looking at, photographing, and commenting on the art as we walked along the beach. I just failed to string together the facts.

I'm not retarded, I'm just a little slow.

We kept on rambling. Sort of. I had a plan. Adam was just along for the ride. Ride? Stroll.

I had noticed earlier, atop the hill to the north, a large concrete structure. It looked like a relic from the past, not a ruin, but an old turn of the century building that gave off High School vibes. I wanted a closer look.

On our way up, we passed a Scientology building. No jokes there. We didn't wish to attract their ire. Where they would have opened the gates and released Kristie Alley on us. Or worse, Jenna Elfman. We passed by quietly and kept our thetans to ourselves.

I had a refrain as we walked up Queen Anne Hill, which I would later find out is the tallest hill in the city, and that mantra was “We gotta be getting close!”

You see, or you don't see as it turned out, the hill was rather steep, and it was difficult to ascertain from the bottom of one block where the end would be. And by the time we finally summited, I had stopped caring what the building was. But it was a high school, or had been. Now it was lofts. And I was tired.

On our way back to the hotel, Adam and I stopped to admire a fountain that stood within the Space Needle park. It danced and sprouted to rock music, and I took several pictures as I stood underneath the dreary clouds.

Wandering around before dinner, I snagged a lovely selfie there, underneath the Space Needle. I was giving my camera the bird. Classy yes? I intended to send that picture to anyone at work who bitched about how busy they were. I never had to use it. Dicks.

Dinner was at Dick's Drive In. A Seattle institution. Cheap burgers and fries. It was a nice break from the more expensive fare that we had been gorging on. And enough to put us to sleep when we got back to our hotel room. Well, after we stopped at a Walgreens so my companions could score some beer.

Here's a fun fact, Seattle is so fucking geeky, that the Walgreens that we visited sold board games like Forbidden Island and Munchkin. Seattle, what a cool city!  And no, I shall not be doing a Yakov Smirnov impression... In my city Walgreens has enemas and hungry hungry hippos!