Schooled by a Skoolie: How many more subtitles will I need?

Ryan has the perfect observation for the whole Rowsdower adventure. “It is an awesome project, but I’m glad I’m not in charge”

Well I am in charge. Which is frightening on account of my inability to make simple decisions. Well most of the time. I did decide to buy a bus. I’ll amend that to: my inability to make smart decisions. After all, I am living in a city that I dislike doing a job that bores the bejesus out of me because I can’t just pick a direction and go.

Something about my anxiety in that. I try to make a change and then end up freezing. I’m a catch ladies. But I do have a bus.

With the roof up, the welding began as I raced time to try and get the bus closed back up before winter arrived. I fell rather short of that goal. I also still needed to grind the rust off the floors as I finished patching up the major holes. That is a slow process. Which I think will be my catchphrase from here on out.

The lift devices held quite well overnight. And the following morning I returned for more welding. There was a lot of welding. You may feel free to Insert my catchphrase here.

I had purchased around 30 lengths of square tube steel pipe. They fit perfectly into the hat channels and would become the new struts. All we had to do was hold them in place with a clamp and weld the pillars into the hat channels. A note, a hat channel sort of a U shaped beam of steel. They run vertically between the windows. We cut them, raised the roof and then inserted the new pipe into the U and welded it into place.

But we had forgotten exactly how to weld. The heat was too low and the wire speed too high. Explanation, mig welding runs a coil of wire through an electric current and uses that wire to melt two pieces of steel together. Basically you have a little gun shaped device that you use to direct the wire. My welder gives you two options, how fast you want the wire to feed, and how high you want the electric current. Simple and straightforward. Except we were having problems getting a good weld.

When it came down to welding, we were getting an intermittent connection and well it wasn’t working. We had the wire speed too high. That was our problem. Gary fixed us up and gave us a refresher. Thanks again Gary.

I got better at welding with this. Much better by the end. Turns out welding in full sunlight is a bitch, as the bright light makes your mask cut out, and really with the blast shield down how am I supposed to weld? But I got it done. Day after day when the weather was nice. I’d change into my bus uniform before leaving work and spend a few more hours making my way towards that goal.

After the uprights were all in place, I cut some angle iron(L-shaped steel) and welded that to the square tubes. They would give me a place to rivet the new walls into place.

Yeah, I welded a lot. And I’m still nowhere near finished. Next I need to get working on sealing up the Transition.

What is the Transition you ask? You know when we chopped the bus roof off and raised it 20 inches? Yeah, that time. Pretty cool huh? Anyhow, there is still that step-up that needs to be re-filled. Usually in the form of some fancy metal work. Les installed the rear hatch of an old suv into his bus Transcendence. And then welded sheet metal around it. I really wanted to do that myself. And I had two Transitions that needed to be filled! Squeee!

So we found a local auto junkyard. $2 each to get in. An hour of wandering, taking pictures and sizing up possible hatches, before we realized that we forgot our tools. Another roundtrip to the bus site. And then I bought myself the rear hatch back to a ‘74 Chevette. It was brown. It would be at home in Rowsdower(I was going to paint it, but a ‘74 Chevette, that just seems magical).

All I needed to do now was figure out how to get it into the gap, and plumb with the roof, on both sides of the transition. I had no clue how to do that, so I set it aside as it percolated in the back of my mind and got onto other work.

You know what a bus has a lot of? Aside from chewed gum and gross rubber mats. Windows.

There are a ton of ways to raise a bus roof. Two Nerds in a Bus chose to cut lower and retain the long rows of windows, as inefficient as they were. I went with Les’s aforementioned approach. But I still do like “having light and being able to see”. So I was going to be forced to fabricate some window frames myself. And install proper windows. After buying proper windows.

Not to worry, I had expected this outcome and was already thinking about it. I just needed to find some slick RV windows. And facebook was a bust.

It appears that America’s RV manufacturing industry was based around South Bend Indiana. And to my luck, there are several businesses that sell parts for RVs. I found one that I dearly wanted to visit, and I must say it was hella-cool. One day of wandering around the yard with my sister and Brigitte and I scored several windows, and a sweet stereo system. All on the cheap. Will need to return for water tanks and a door.

Once again, having the correct tools is important. I don’t usually have the correct tools. For this job I was facing making proper cuts using a freaking hand-held angle-grinder. I pride myself in my ability to adapt. And I also pride myself in my ability to bitch when my adaptations don’t pan out. Stupid angle grinder, is like performing delicate surgery with an icebreaker(the ship, not the opening salvo of a conversation, though that would have been about as effective, I’m just not a man who likes talking, so I’d rather use the ship).

I was happy with my work on the window frames. For a couple of days. Then I took a better look and realized that I might not have been quite as level as I had first thought. Well shit. But the windows fit perfectly in them and I can always just call myself an eccentric artist type.

After that, the front Transition finally clicked in place in my mind and I made it so. AT least for the Chevette door. Still waiting for spring to return so that I can finish the job. Or have one of the people who doesn’t mind heights do it for me. I hate heights. Even sitting atop a 8' wide bus that is a mere 9.5’ off the ground makes me feel a bit wiggy.

Damn but it would be nice to be able to work on this in my own back yard. But douchey city ordinances and all that fun stuff you know. And I don’t have a back yard. I guess the latter plays more into it than the former, but if I did have a back yard, those assholes would have really screwed me over.

Jerks.

A rock and or roll event you say?

Many of my friends seem to live to see their favorite bands in concert. I suppose that the statement “I don't care for live music.” will make me an apostate. But, there you go. Attending concerts isn't something I'm passionate about. I don't like the noise. I tend to avoid them. Who wants to pay to be uncomfortable?

Oh wait, that's the basis of BDSM.

There are few musical acts whom can compel me to adhere to their schedule. Why bother, when I can just listen to about any song I want in the comfort of my home whenever I like. Thanks The Internet! You are a true pal to an introverted hermit with a moderate love of music.

I do however love spectacle. Not a novel statement, or very deep, I know. “I enjoy new experiences” ranks up there with “I love Pizza!” on the scale of surprising things that one can announce. It sits exactly directly opposite from “I'm pregnant” or “Sara Palin's IQ test is through the roof!”.

When it comes down to a show I enjoy costumes and other goofiness. This is what has dragged me to Rennfaires, Comic Cons and to the Opera Carmen(Did I write about that? It happened last year and was a fantastic ife experience).

My friend and co-worker pitched the idea that a unique band was going to be in town and that the tickets were to be had on the cheap. A band that I had heard of, but knew next to nothing about. One that has been touring for around 30 years. Would I like to go?

So that's how I found myself talked into shelling out an $A.J. to go and see Gwar.

Have you ever heard of Gwar? Well, In case you're shaking your head in confused silence at your monitor, here's a rundown. They were formed in the mid to late 80s as a thrash metal band in the state of Virginia. Their backstory, and yes they are a band with a backstory, is that they were a band of intergalactic warriors that got frozen in a glacier here on Earth. After being thawed out, they were introduced to a wide array of human vices. Drugs, sex and Rock and Roll! You know, the good stuff in life(Ha! As if I would know!).

In short, they all wear elaborate costumes and portray monsters. That is their shtick. As such, the band has had a rolling line-up over the decades(almost said years) of their existence. Much like the Blue Man Group, any member can leave and the character will live on. The exception being when an active cast member dies, then they retire the character. Take a look at this – yeah, some of the characters have been played by a half dozen different people.

I'd love to see that happen with boybands. When Corey the Bad Boy archtype kicks it, or goes to prison for diddling an underaged boy, the producers just chuck out one of their spare Corey clones.

Prior to one evening last week, I don't believe that I had ever listened to one of their songs. I was aware that they were a metal band from the 80s. I was aware that they wore costumes in their performances. That was all. I didn't bother to look them up on youtube. Who wants to spoil the surprise?

The music wasn't why I went. I went because they were said to put on a bizarre, one of a kind show. They did not disappoint. The music was secondary anyways. We found a nice spot at the back of the venue. Nice being relative. The seats were moderately comfortable and it was out of the way. Mostly we sat around as the opening acts played, and waited for the main event.

I didn't catch the name of the first band, they were already in play when I arrived. They played a mix of metal and punk. Not bad. There was a banner behind them that read Battlecross. I wondered if they were Battlecross or if they had just stolen the banner. I was wrong on both accounts. Which makes the rest of the night that much less interesting.

Battlecross was a mid-level local band. By that, I mean they had some success as a band, but weren't the main act. And they were actually from the region of the country in which I reside. They seemed to have 4 guitarists, one of whom reminded us of Toki Wartooth. All I can say about the group is their lead singer was hella-entertaining. I almost bought one of their albums on the strength of his banter alone. But I'm a cheapskate, so I checked that impulse.

Onto the main show.

Gwar for me, epitomized both the best and worst that live shows have to offer. First, they were loud. Really loud. They were playing in a small venue, maybe a couple thousand square feet at most, for a couple hundred people. Despite that, they had their amplifiers turned up to 11. Have you ever sat through a wave of noise so powerful that it seemed to tug at your hair? How about having it make your insides vibrate? That was Gwar.

I hate that. HATE. They say “If the Music is too loud, then you're too old.” Well I'm too old. So I made use of a pair of earplugs to try and protect what remains of my hearing. What the hell is the point in paying to go to a concert to listen to music that you won't even be able to hear? That is fekking insane.

Ok. So I didn't get too much from the music. That's not where Gwar excels anyhow. The rest of the performance is where they rock. The dialogue and skits that they perform in between songs. For me, the songs are just filler and segways between the real meat of the show. They were crude and sophomoric and intentionally offensive, and we all loved it.

No spoilers here(if you want those, google them). My aforementioned friend has been going to rock concerts for 30 years now, and he declared that not once ever has he experienced the like. I will close out with this – if you have the chance – Go See Gwar.

Oh, and wear clothes that you don't mind getting ruined. The Spew goes everywhere.