A rock and or roll event you say?

Many of my friends seem to live to see their favorite bands in concert. I suppose that the statement “I don't care for live music.” will make me an apostate. But, there you go. Attending concerts isn't something I'm passionate about. I don't like the noise. I tend to avoid them. Who wants to pay to be uncomfortable?

Oh wait, that's the basis of BDSM.

There are few musical acts whom can compel me to adhere to their schedule. Why bother, when I can just listen to about any song I want in the comfort of my home whenever I like. Thanks The Internet! You are a true pal to an introverted hermit with a moderate love of music.

I do however love spectacle. Not a novel statement, or very deep, I know. “I enjoy new experiences” ranks up there with “I love Pizza!” on the scale of surprising things that one can announce. It sits exactly directly opposite from “I'm pregnant” or “Sara Palin's IQ test is through the roof!”.

When it comes down to a show I enjoy costumes and other goofiness. This is what has dragged me to Rennfaires, Comic Cons and to the Opera Carmen(Did I write about that? It happened last year and was a fantastic ife experience).

My friend and co-worker pitched the idea that a unique band was going to be in town and that the tickets were to be had on the cheap. A band that I had heard of, but knew next to nothing about. One that has been touring for around 30 years. Would I like to go?

So that's how I found myself talked into shelling out an $A.J. to go and see Gwar.

Have you ever heard of Gwar? Well, In case you're shaking your head in confused silence at your monitor, here's a rundown. They were formed in the mid to late 80s as a thrash metal band in the state of Virginia. Their backstory, and yes they are a band with a backstory, is that they were a band of intergalactic warriors that got frozen in a glacier here on Earth. After being thawed out, they were introduced to a wide array of human vices. Drugs, sex and Rock and Roll! You know, the good stuff in life(Ha! As if I would know!).

In short, they all wear elaborate costumes and portray monsters. That is their shtick. As such, the band has had a rolling line-up over the decades(almost said years) of their existence. Much like the Blue Man Group, any member can leave and the character will live on. The exception being when an active cast member dies, then they retire the character. Take a look at this – yeah, some of the characters have been played by a half dozen different people.

I'd love to see that happen with boybands. When Corey the Bad Boy archtype kicks it, or goes to prison for diddling an underaged boy, the producers just chuck out one of their spare Corey clones.

Prior to one evening last week, I don't believe that I had ever listened to one of their songs. I was aware that they were a metal band from the 80s. I was aware that they wore costumes in their performances. That was all. I didn't bother to look them up on youtube. Who wants to spoil the surprise?

The music wasn't why I went. I went because they were said to put on a bizarre, one of a kind show. They did not disappoint. The music was secondary anyways. We found a nice spot at the back of the venue. Nice being relative. The seats were moderately comfortable and it was out of the way. Mostly we sat around as the opening acts played, and waited for the main event.

I didn't catch the name of the first band, they were already in play when I arrived. They played a mix of metal and punk. Not bad. There was a banner behind them that read Battlecross. I wondered if they were Battlecross or if they had just stolen the banner. I was wrong on both accounts. Which makes the rest of the night that much less interesting.

Battlecross was a mid-level local band. By that, I mean they had some success as a band, but weren't the main act. And they were actually from the region of the country in which I reside. They seemed to have 4 guitarists, one of whom reminded us of Toki Wartooth. All I can say about the group is their lead singer was hella-entertaining. I almost bought one of their albums on the strength of his banter alone. But I'm a cheapskate, so I checked that impulse.

Onto the main show.

Gwar for me, epitomized both the best and worst that live shows have to offer. First, they were loud. Really loud. They were playing in a small venue, maybe a couple thousand square feet at most, for a couple hundred people. Despite that, they had their amplifiers turned up to 11. Have you ever sat through a wave of noise so powerful that it seemed to tug at your hair? How about having it make your insides vibrate? That was Gwar.

I hate that. HATE. They say “If the Music is too loud, then you're too old.” Well I'm too old. So I made use of a pair of earplugs to try and protect what remains of my hearing. What the hell is the point in paying to go to a concert to listen to music that you won't even be able to hear? That is fekking insane.

Ok. So I didn't get too much from the music. That's not where Gwar excels anyhow. The rest of the performance is where they rock. The dialogue and skits that they perform in between songs. For me, the songs are just filler and segways between the real meat of the show. They were crude and sophomoric and intentionally offensive, and we all loved it.

No spoilers here(if you want those, google them). My aforementioned friend has been going to rock concerts for 30 years now, and he declared that not once ever has he experienced the like. I will close out with this – if you have the chance – Go See Gwar.

Oh, and wear clothes that you don't mind getting ruined. The Spew goes everywhere.

An oddly busy weekend.

This weekend was actually full. Fuller than I usually like. There after all is something about staring at a wall for the length of a Saturday afternoon and squandering those precious heartbeats one has on this earth. But that can't be helped now.

Where to start? Well, first there was the gathering of Hipsters. Darn they're neat. So much so that I've decided to become one. Anyone know where I can get a Hipster starter kit? I of course will need to get an iPhone and skinny jeans. And is it too late to mock Hipsters? Has that become passe?

I honestly bear Hipsters no real ill will. I have at least one friend that I suspect is a Hipster. How bad does that sound? Wow. Mostly I just buckle to the usual social pressures to gripe about this sub-culture or that (twihards) to struggle for something relatable to say. We live in an us vrs them sort of world.

But no, Hipsters just kind of are as they're out there living their lives and doing their thing. They bother me far less than people who watch reality tv, or sports fanatics. Hipsters are at least(in theory) living their lives and experiencing new things first hand. Good on them as far as I'm concerned, and may they get over the fad with those stupid skinny pants.

Our local hip neighborhood hosted a street faire this weekend. Food, art and live music they promised. We had other plans, but stopped by one of the local eateries that we favor for breakfast. The place is always packed, so we decided to wander around the faire as we waited. It was about as expected. The highpoint was the street poet dressed in what we figured was Hipster motley as he recited verse. Though he could have just been a crazy homeless guy ranting about the moon demons. Either way, I didn't make eye-contact. I get enough face time with the crazies at my job.

So I walked into their faire with my eyes open. It was hard to tell where the Hipster stopped and the Hippie began. Are these two sub-cultures closely related? It would seem to me not really so much. If one ignores the seeming cross-pollination. Where do Hipsters stand on free-love? Cause if that answer comes back positive, I'm off to get my iPhone and skinny jeans today!

Back to the faire, though I don't really know why I bother. It was a couple dozen tents of crafts and what-not, with people of all ages about. At one end there was a band that we were desperately hoping would be packing keytars(maybe even dueling keytars!) But neither of us stuck around long enough to find out.

I walked through later – I've been walking a lot lately, power-hikes through town trying to hit up as many hills as possible. My best distance yet was just over 7 miles, with 5.5+ being about average. Takes about an hour and a half, a large chunk of free-time that I could be using to write. But my ass needs to be firm when the zombies arise! - where was I going with all that? Oh yeah, I returned. And nothing really seemed to change. I just wanted to talk about my exercise routine. Suckers.

Have you ever been to an engagement party? Is that even a thing anymore?

My boss has just become engaged, and many congrats to her. She invited a few of the employees to the shindig. How utterly awkward is this? I don't like hanging out at bars. Period. Spending countless hours with strangers, or co-workers whom I partly know is somewhat stressful. I have very little in common with my fellow employees, less with my employer.

Not showing up seems like a poor life decision, as the boss was kind enough to offer the invitation. So I went. I put on my semi-finest black pants and dark shirt and spent some of the evening trying to fade into the black leather couch that was so conveniently located in the out-cast section. Huzzah for dim lighting and dark clothes.

Neither seemed to work in my favor. I attracted some attention.

After the small talk was made with the people I did know, I spent most of the evening trading stories about the wacky encounters with crazy patients that we've all had. Oh Pharmacy, you certainly do attract the crazy. As I'm sure that anyone who has read past posts know. Many of those very stories were rehashed at the party, and the list gets longer and longer each day.

I was actually asked by a complete stranger what my nationality was. Yeah, really strange that. I'm American, from this very state sir, I replied. But the gentleman in question claimed that I had an accent. Mind, we were in a bar with conversations buzzing all around and I had only spoken a couple sentences, and he was older (I'm implying that he might be a bit hard of hearing – for those who didn't read that far in. *wink wink*) man as well.

I really don't know what to say to that, as even my best Cockney would make Dick Van Dyke cringe in offended horror. But I have a rather plain mid-western accent. Nothing sexy. Unless you have a fetish for those things, then Hello.

This was about the extent of the evening. Free food and awkward chit-chat with coworkers and complete stranger. And far more the former than the latter. The food was very tasty. How's that for an adventure?

Finally there was the Irish Music Festival. We had to travel for this one, something I hate doing on my weekends off. Something about driving every night makes me inclined to avoid cars on the weekend. Oh well. I was invited on the outing, and didn't see anything else happening so I jumped at it. I've not been to a music festival before. So why not?

The layout consisted of fairgrounds on the lake shore and three large pavilions for the acts. A couple tents for the shopping stalls and the usual food vendors that one finds at a summer fair. Most of which had an Irish tint to it. The crowds were light and there was plenty of open space. Not to mention several different displays showcasing glimmers of Irish history – most notably the Irish Wake.

The gift-shops were selling vaguely Irish crap, most of it did not appeal. You know the kind, as it has been distilled and twisted by pop-culture to represent the Irish culture in the States. Bland caricatures and abstractions with their catchphrases.

The word of the day was green, as everything seemed to be awash in every shade of the color. Though looking back I should have gotten myself a kilt. They had some rather solid models on the relative cheap at one of the booths. I still want to get a good kilt.

I am not a fan of Irish music. By this I don't mean that I dislike the genre, I rather enjoy the Gaelic sound, it just isn't part of my daily life. My tastes are generally very broad, and extremely shallow. Does this sound Hipstery? I'm practicing as I await the answer to the above question. The music was enjoyable, the one band I listened to for any length of time. Strange, we drove an hour to get there, and paid $15 at the gate to get in, only to stick around for a couple hours.

Honestly, I went for the same reason I've gone to most of the other festivals, faires and conventions that I've written about. People watching. The pretty girls in their summer clothes really warm the blood of an old man like myself.

The Irish Music Festival was a lot like a comic convention. Though the mix of people was a bit skewed. At the latter, there are about 10 smelly male geeks for every person carrying 2 X genes. And the former? It was overweight, middle aged white people. A mob of them! The pretty girls in their summer clothes? Not so much. 10 to one against. Sad day.

But the music was good. And so was the pizza the the buffet that we stopped at on the way home. Fuck paying faire prices for food.  In the end, I felt quit exhausted while having actually accomplished so very little.

Beer Fest!

Beerfest. Where people drink beer and listen to bands play. A straight-forward and simple plan of action one would be compelled to believe. And they would be right. That's all a beerfest really is. Founders seems to draw two types in particular. The Bros – as there is beer, add that to the fact that there are other Bros to rape, and you get a feeding frenzy. Group two is the Hipsters. Since the festival seemed to be infested with non-hipsters(the Bros as well as others) I'm wondering if the Hipsters are only showing up out of a sense of irony.

I don't know if I've mentioned it, but I don't drink. No reason why, I just don't. And I don't have a passion for music. I like music, even love it at times. But there's no burning desire to ensconce myself in front of a stage and press my head against the loudspeaker until my ears bleed. I'm perfectly content with canned music since, unless I'm dumb it doesn't damage what little I still have left of my hearing.

The bands ranged from OK to interesting, what I could hear. Eventually the music was droned out by the noise of conversation. There's that buzz that it becomes when hundreds of people are talking at once and the sounds cease to be meaningless and become noise. Often background noise. When I notice the buzz, it begins to freak me out. The hum is unescapable and wears at my fragile mind.

The noise makes even brief attempts at conversations rather self-defeating, which kills the mental stimulation that I need. Something to think about please. So, I begin to daydream about seeing epic Street Fighter style battles between the Bros and Hipsters. It's great. Just imagine seeing a Hipster yell Haduken! And throwing a ball of energy at a Bro. Fun times.

So, the concept on most levels is rather dull for a non-drinking hermit like myself. The only real draw? People watching. And a truer definition: Oggling Girls in their summer clothes. As I recall, scantily clad members of the female sex is a regular theme here on this blog. Comic con? Girls cosplaying. Rennfest? Girls cosplaying. I am a broken record. But as a creepy old shut-in, girls in revealing outfits are rare indeed in my usual domain. I'm forced to head out into the world to see them in their natural habitat.

This is worth the venture.

Note: Leering and drooling, are not socially acceptable behavior. Just passing on the hard won wisdom.

What else is there to say? The attention whores show up in droves to these events. Much like the cosplayers at nerdier events. Actually, exactly like cosplayers. The most notable was the Ent. See pic below. But others were the hula-hoopers. Dunno how they fit in, but there was a booth renting/selling hula hoops, so it can't be a new phenomenon. Founders Fest was a strange sight, and I am on the fence whether or not I enjoyed it fully.